"Save Us, Vince!" - The Top-10 TNA "Stars" WWE Needs to Save

So here's the deal; once again good old TNA/Impact Wrestling is in some more deep, desperate financial trouble. You can blame whoever or whatever you want. Be it putting a money mark like Dixie Carter in charge, letting the dude from the Smashing Pumpkins be the president of your company, losing Spike TV and winding up on a television network with less penetration than a eunuch, hiring Vince Russo.... whatever. It doesn't matter. The fact of the matter is that TNA is a quickly decaying husk of a formerly fairly vibrant and hot wrestling company. And its a company, that even while somehow steadying itself on broken legs, splinted by balsa wood and fairy magic, has maintained and even grown a pretty sizable and solid roster of talent.

And that's what this is, 10 TNA "stars" that WWE should rescue from, as Dusty Rhodes would say, "the gubbmint cheese line".

But first, let's start with 5 TNA wrestlers that'll never make the jump to Vince McMahon's empire.

1. Cody Rhodes - Its kind of appropriate to mention Dusty's "Government cheese line" saying in conjunction with Cody Rhodes. Like it or not, we'll never see Cody return to a company that wouldn't allow him to use his God-given real last name on any other television wrestling show. Besides, what would Cody come back to? His stock in the eyes of the casual 'E fan hasn't risen that high. Sure, he's wrestled some fantastic matches off of TV in England, New Extreme Wrestling, and for the Youtube sponsored wrestling company, What Culture Pro Wrestling. As far as most WWE fans would know, Stardust left for a while, came back, and didn't do shit in the interim. Cody's better off being a huge fish in a small pond in the indies, asking a premium for being a former WWE star, and probably, eventually tearing down the house in Japan. A WWE return would be detrimental to Cody more than anything.

2. Aron Rex/Damien Sandow - Another guy that the WWE desperately and almost belligerently misused. The fans wanted to see Sandow break out. They wanted to see him get a good, at least midcard run. Instead, he was buried in a weak ass Mega Powers parody tag-team with Curtis Axel as Hulk Hogan and Sandow as "Macho Mandow". It was awful. Since arriving in TNA, the newly christened Aron Rex is in contention for a new major title and can easily, even if TNA dries up sooner rather than later, parlay that into some good future bookings on the indies, Japan, or Ring of Honor. Sandow doesn't need WWE right now.

3. Bram - "The Chesterfield Plague" would be a solid fit in the WWE. But, they've already given him a chance. Bram was one of the original members of The Ascension in NXT, but was summarily released by the company for being involved in a domestic abuse incident with Charlotte Flair and then punching a cop. So yeah, he's probably not coming back.

4. Maria Kannelis - Currently packaged with her real-life husband Mike Bennett, Maria has some level of undisclosed "heat" with the Bellas and John Cena that caused her to leave the company in the first place. Its easy to imagine that Maria would follow her husband wherever he goes, but Mike Bennett is rumored to most likely to return to Ring of Honor if TNA were to go belly-up. Its not likely Maria's going anywhere without him.

5. Moose- Another wrestler paired with Mike Bennett. Moose has had some kind of problems with the law in the recent past, that precluded Moose from coming into NXT recently. Of all the Top-5 wrestlers who WWE won't take, Moose is the least solid "never again". He's young, healthy, and he can go. He just has that baggage that WWE doesn't want anything to do with. He's not going to happen. At least for now.

- That being said, TNA still has a lot of talent that WWE could still take. Here's 10 of them.


10. Abyss- Yeah, its the obvious first draft. But Abyss is Abyss. He's big, well-established and he can still go. Abyss is getting up there in age- he turns 43 this October 4th and there's not many places for a big guy with a well-established gimmick to make his bones outside of TNA or the WWE. He wouldn't fit in Ring of Honor (he tried it once, check it out), and his wrestling style wouldn't fly in Lucha Underground or Japan. He could be the midcard monster replacement for Kane or Mark Henry when one of those guys decides to hang it up. The so-called "dream match" between Abyss and Undertaker might not happen, but he could still mix it up on either show, or be a big deal in NXT. Think about it like this; who would you rather see squashing ham-n-eggers on RAW, Abyss or *shudders* Braun Strowman? Exactly.

9. DJ Zion - Bring in DJ Z exactly as he is right now. The "club DJ" thing is hot now in pop-culture, with Skrillex and Daft Punk producing house music that all the club kids want to roll on E and dance to. Just put the WWE machine behind DJ Z's entrance and outfit, give him a proper push, season him on NXT and let him come to RAW and tear it up in the cruiserweight division. DJ Zion vs. Brian Kendrick or TJ Perkins is a match I want to see, like yesterday.

8. The Helms Dynasty - Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee/Shane Helms - As a unit, The Helms Dynasty could be something really fun in the big 'E. Everett and Lee are both solid workers and have put in some really killer, under appreciated work in TNA, both in singles and as a tag-team. Their matches against the American Wolves and then Davey Richards and DJ Zion are recent highlights of TNA TV. These guys can go. Give them a run in NXT - tell me you wouldn't want to see these guys mix it up with TM-61, and then debut them on Smackdown as a unit. They'd add some legitimacy to Smackdown's tag-team scene and have some great teams to work with.

7. Crazzy Steve and Rosemary - That's right, number 10 was the obvious first draft in the form of Abyss, but Crazzy Steve and Rosemary wouldn't be too far behind. In an effort to not "save" all tag-teams from TNA's dieing clutches, Crazzy Steve and Rosemary would be separate from Abyss. No more Decay. Crazzy Steve isn't the most... seasoned wrestler, so a trip for the two down to NXT would be a foregone conclusion. But, after some time in developmental, its easy to imagine Crazzy Steve and Rosemary being the goth power couple of RAW's Cruiserweight division.

6. Mahabali Shera - Definitely an odd draft pick, given Shera's relative youth, lack of experience, and lack of exposure. But, Shera's managed to look good in undercard feuds with a badly miscast James Storm, an aging Al Snow, and a tag-team feud with his partner Grado (who himself just missed the mark on being a pick), against the green-as-grass team The Tribunal. Shera is young, healthy, good looking, and he's one of few Middle Eastern wrestlers not portrayed as a heel. He might be a long shot, but the kid's got an upside.

5. The American Wolves - Whether as a tag-team or as singles wrestlers, Davey Richards and Eddie Edwards are fantastic workers and consummate professionals. And they almost never have a bad match. Seriously, name one awful match you've seen out of the Wolves. Their run against Bobby Roode and Austin Aries is the stuff, hopefully, TNA will be remembered for. Their 30- Minute Tag-Team Iron Man match against Roode and Aries is one of the most criminally underlooked matches of 2015. Their match against The Helms Dynasty on pay-per-view was solid, star making stuff that elevated The Dynasty from virtual nobodies to TNA stars. As a team they've been everywhere, wrestled everybody, and done just about everything. How about a good run in the 'E to really cap it off, Wolves?

4. Tyrus - Yeah, I know. I know. I know. When Tyrus left the WWE he was a big, dumb dancing dumbass teaming with a burned-out A-Train who couldn't buy a win against anyone important. He was a 300+ pound jobber who was on a one-way trip to Jobberville. Even when he got a bit of a second run in NXT as a heel monster, shortly before being shown the door, he was jobbed out to everyone from Neville to Rob Van Dam. But since hitting TNA, he's experienced a bit of a career Renaissance. He's won the Bound For Glory gauntlet match, challenged for the TNA World Title, and been treated, whether as a heel or a face, like a pretty damn big deal. He's found his groove as a monster heel and his in-ring work is leagues better than it ever was in the WWE. Think about it; The Club needs a big guy to even the odds in their eternal feud with The New Day- Tyrus is their man.

3. Bobby Lashley - "The battle tank with a Ferrari engine". "The Destroyer". "Proof That Billy Blanks Does Steroids". Call him whatever you want, but Lashley is another WWE castoff to achieve a ton of success in TNA. He's TNA's first ever "Grand Slam" champion, winning every title available to him. He's a Hell of a success, and probably one of Vince McMahon's nightmares. He's the ultimate missed opportunity by the big 'E. Bobby's had killer matches with "The Glorious" Bobby Roode, James Storm, Jeff Hardy, Kurt Angle, Ethan Carter, and a lot more. He's developed a personality and found his, in this case literally, voice in wrestling. WWE had Lashley when he was a big, oversized puppy who hadn't yet grown to his full potential. Now, Lashley is a pure bred animal with all the ability needed to throw down and look great with anyone. WWE missed their chance with him the first time. If TNA dies, they might not miss it again. Plus, Lashley said he wants to work with Brock Lesnar. That match is money and there's no way Vince wouldn't see that.

2. Drew Galloway - The former Drew McIntyre is yet another case of WWE misusing a guy, letting them go and then TNA picking them up and allowing their full potential to blossom. Galloway is one of the finest workers on TNA's roster who can have a legitimately good match with anybody. He's had some barn burners with Bobby Lashley as well as Ethan Carter. If there's anybody WWE overlooked before showing the door, its Galloway. Coming into Vince's domain as the supposed "chosen one", Drew's push quickly fizzled. Following that, he was put in filler programs, given a token tag-team title run with Cody Rhodes and eventually hu ng out to dry in The 3 Man Band with Heath Slater and Jinder Mahal. Despite being, by far, the most talented of the 3, Galloway is the only member of the band not to be in the WWE. When Heath Slater is a tag-team champion and Jinder Mahal is brought back just to do TV jobs, its probably time to think about hiring the most talented of the group back. Bring him in, put him on Smackdown, give him a run against The Miz or a babyface Dolph Ziggler, sit back and watch the midcard magic happen.

1. Ethan Carter III - And here we go, yet another example of a WWE castoff getting a great, second life in TNA. Only this time, who can blame the WWE for getting rid of EC3. Honestly, when the future Ethan Carter came into WWE through the NXT system, he looked like he had a bit of an upside but the WWE didn't see it and eventually let him go. Their loss was TNA's gain. Carter, upon getting his shot in TNA, managed to win the title, have an incredible undefeated streak, get over as a smarmy rich heel, and then, incredibly, after building his entire TNA career on screwing over the babyfaces, picking on the little guy, and flaunting his wealth and status, got over as a babyface and managed to stay over despite losing his undefeated status. Holy shit. That's a Hell of a career for a kid who washed out of NXT. That's not withstanding Carter's better than solid in-ring skills, his mic work which is pretty killer, his looks and his body which looks to be chiseled from granite. Ethan Carter, more than anyone else in TNA, is a ready-made prospect. WWE could pull him out right now and plunk him down on RAW and he'd already fit right in.

- You might have noticed a few omissions from this list and you're probably asking yourself why someone wasn't listed. Well, here's 5 Honorable Mentions. 

1. Grado - Grado is a fun personality and decent worker, but he's not high on my personal list. WWE could grab him, but he'd only get as far as a comedy undercard act. WWE already has No Way Jose in NXT, ready to be a no-so-serious comedy guy. Grado would just feel like a Santino Marella also-ran.

2. Tigre Uno - He would've been high on my list, as a good guy to have fill out RAW's Cruiserweight Division, but he's hurt.

3. Rockstar Spud - Frankly, I just kind of forgot about him. Besides, Brian Kendrick is already the Cruiserweight Division's top heel. Spud is fun, but he's not needed.

4. James Storm - I didn't include him because Storm, frankly, should be NXT bound already. He's put in a couple of appearances for them and his fellow upper-midcard TNA talents are leaving; Roode, Aries, Joe, Eric Young. Its all but certain he'll be in NXT and eventually the WWE sooner rather than later.

5. "Broken" Matt Hardy and "Brother Nero" Jeff Hardy - The two biggest omissions, by far. At this point, its probably fair to say if the WWE ever brought the Hardyz back, it would be as a nostalgia act. They'd be given the Dudley Boys treatment and eventually shown the curb. There's no way WWE would allow Matt and Jeff the creative freedom to do the whole "Broken Matt" delete/obsolete thing. From everything Matt and Jeff have said, both men are set pretty well financially and they enjoy TNA's easy schedule and creative freedom afforded to them. At this point, WWE might not be able to lure them back. WWE might not want Jeff Hardy back anyway, with his litany of drug offenses and his quickly deteriorating body. The Hardyz don't need WWE. The WWE don't need them, either.

Final Thoughts: And there you have it. Another week, another rumor that TNA might not make it out of this one still operating. Billy Corgan is pouring his personal finances into TNA to get this weekend's pay-per-view off the ground. Today might not be the greatest day TNA's ever really known, but who knows what tomorrow holds. If they do go belly-up, ascending to wrestling promotion heaven to hang out with WCW, ECW, and Herb Abram's UWF, at least the WWE will be there to grab some of their guys. TNA is the Titanic and real-world finances are its iceberg. So, what are your thoughts, wrestling fans? Who should WWE pick up? Do you think Eli Drake should challenge Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania this year? Let me know! I'm out.

WCW Pro Wrestling - May 11, 1997 - Review

- Welcome folks to yet another of Infinite Devil Machine's B and C-show reviews! Its time to scrape the bottom of WCW's barrel for some hot, sticky syndicated action. The temperatures are starting to heat up in May. Summer's right around the corner for WCW, as they're still embroiled in their war with the NWO as the ubiquitous Wrestlecrap stable The Dungeon Of Doom, who are miraculously still around at this point, continue their ongoing to war against a newly reformed Four Horseman. Its Faction Warfare in WCW, heading into the worst named mainstream pay-per-view of all time, Slamboree! But enough talk, let's get to the action!


Sargent Buddy Lee Parker and Pat Tanaka vs. Jim Powers and "Hardwork" Bobby Walker (w/ Teddy Long)

- Man, you want to talk about an oddball team? You've got the square jawed G.I. Joe "Sargent" Buddy Lee Parker in full on military fatigues and camo and Pat Tanaka, probably best known for his stint in the WWF as one-half of The Orient Express, in a karate outfit. Its like Buddy Lee Parker walked in and recruited a partner at the last minute from the Benny Hanna's next to the arena.

- Needless to say, Jim Powers and Bobby Walker aren't much better. They're part of Teddy Long's stable of jobbers. Did Long putting his guys together in random tag-teams give him the idea to put together random tag-team main event matches on Smackdown every night when he was GM there? Makes you think, playa.

- Lockup to start, Parker with a headlock on Powers. Powers shoots him off, but eats a shoulderblock. Criss-cross and a leapfrog and Powers scores an armdrag on Parker. I just realized it, but Powers looks like the white dude half of American Alpha, only with less wrestling ability. Back up, and Parker fights out of an armbar with a knee to the gut and a clubbing blow. Tanaka tagged in and Powers counters with a drop toehold. Powers with an arm wringer and a tag. Walker in and they score a crappy double-team version of Matt Hardy's Side Effect move. Walker covers for two. Back up, Tanaka reverses a whip to the corner and then just kinda... stands there. Huh? Whip across, Tanaka reverses but Walker explodes out of the corner with a running clothesline and nails it so hard he falls on his ass. Walker springs to the top in a smooth motion and nails a nice flying ax-handle. Tanaka with an eye rake and a Karate chop to take over, before tagging out. Parker in and locks in a headlock, Walker counters into an arm wringer and tags out, Powers with an axehandle on the arm. Powers in and he taunts for an armbar, but Parker wrestles him down. Parker works his way into a front facelock. Powers wrestles out but Parker gets his foot on the ropes to break. Back up standing, lockup, and Powers drives Parker to the corner. Parker scores a knee and fights out and starts clubbering and nails a couple forearms. Powers tries to brawl back, but Parker cuts him off and facelocks him before tagging in Tanaka. Tanaka in and forces Powers to the corner for a couple shots. Whip across and Powers counters a charge with a big boot. Powers with the old "count to 10" spot slamming Tanaka's head to the buckle. Walker's tagged back in, Powers cheap shots Parker off the apron and Walker scores with a top-rope flying forearm for the win.

Winners: Jim Powers and "Hardwork" Bobby Walker

Rating: 1/2* - Call it generous. The wrestling was technically pretty solid. "Perfectly Acceptable", if you will. But damn, Pat Tanaka did literally nothing in this match.

- Make sure to check out Slamboree 1997 on pay-per-view! Kevin Greene, Ric Flair, and Roddy Piper take on the NWO live on pay-per-view!

Chavo Guerrero  vs. Hardbody Harrison 

- Funny to see Chavo this early in his career. He's yet to make his trade off the legacy of his uncle Eddie or find his hobby horse Pepe. He's a pretty vanilla "technico" babyface.

- "Hardbody" Harrison was one of a handful of WCW wrestlers, including, funnily enough "Hardwork" Bobby Walker from the last match, who, under the direction of Sunny Onoo, sued WCW under the pretenses of racism, claiming that WCW didn't push enough minorities and they weren't given the same chances white wrestlers received.

- Lockup to start, Harrison forces Chavo to the corner but Chavo avoids an attempted big right hand. Lockup again, Chavo corners Harrison, but Harrison cowers in the ropes to avoid a right hand. Lockup again, but Harrison counters with a boot and an elbow across the back of the neck. Harrison with a couple shots, Chavo counters a whip with a sunset flip for a two count. Chavo with a dropkick and Harrison bails. Back inside, Chavo counters a charge with a toehold and stomps and hammers away. Chavo with a nice snap suplex and scores with a whip and a Tito Santana-style flying forearm. Chavo with a back-suplex and finishes things with an Oklahoma roll. Weak finish.

Winner: Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Rating: 1/2* - Pretty decent showcase for Chavo's work. He was always fairly underrated. Definitely a pretty weak finish, though.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Robert Fuller

- Jarrett was a Horseman around this time. Probably one of the lesser regarded wrestlers to ever join the Horseman not named Steve "Mongo" McMichael or Paul Roma.

- Robert Fuller looks a bit like Brian Clark aka Wrath aka Adam Bomb aka Brian Clark from Kronic. But he never got any kind of a run.

- Lockup and Jarrett with an armdrag and The Jarrett Strut. Lockup again, Jarrett with a headlock, gets shot off and Jarrett counters with a hiptoss. Jarrett does the old "lounge in the corner" spot. Jarrett, in 1997, got only slightly less fan reaction than Global Force Wrestling. Jarrett with an arm wringer, Fuller counters and whips him off. Fuller with a big hiptoss and a big slam. Fuller scores a legdrop for two. Fuller with a couple clubbing blows, Jarrett counters a charge with a toehold and walks over Fuller before stomping away. Jarrett chokes Fuller on the ropes and splashes him across the back. Back up, Jarrett continues controlling and scores a short clothesline. Jarrett scores with a nice snap suplex, Fuller reverses a whip, but Jarrett avoids a splash and Jarrett loads the big guy up with a back suplex before finishing things off by submission with the Figure-4 Leglock.

Winner: Jeff Jarrett

Rating: * - Not a bad short match. Jarrett was a boring worker and a boring heel, but he could go. Fuller was a big dude, but he was just a big jobber. As good a match as you could ask for between these two dudes.

- Backstage, we see The Dungeon of Doom; Kevin Sullivan, Meng, the future Jacqueline and Jimmy Hart talking about the events of a match between Chris Benoit and Meng on an episode of Saturday Night. Sullivan interfered and the whole thing broke down into a show ending melee, that also involved a load of WCW jobbers trying to break things up.

- Back to the arena and this one has some potential.

Chris Benoit (W/Woman) vs. "Mean" Mike Enos 

- Fun Fact- This match opened WCW Souled Out 1999, two years after this.

- Fun Fact 2- "Mean" Mike Enos was primarily a tag-team worker who'd go on to form teams with Wayne Bloom (one of the ex-Beverly Brothers), Bobby Duncum Junior, and Scotty Riggs.

- Benoit starts things off aggressively, hammering Enos into the corner with forearms and some nasty chops. Benoit stomps Enos down into the corner. Benoit with a whip, Enos reverses and follows in with a clothesline before hammering away and stomping Benoit down. Enos uses the ropes to stomp away and chokes away on Benoit. Enos chokes away with a piece of his leather chaps before pulling Benoit back standing. Enos scores a nice back-suplex, but stupidly stops to pursue Woman on the floor instead of following up. On the floor, Enos stops to taunt Woman, but Benoit clobbers him with a Baseball slide dropkick before smashing Enos into the post. Back in the ring and Benoit nails Enos with his trademark double-armed clothesline. Benoit with a whip, but Enos reverses and scores with a wild kick and follows things up with a nice, hard powerbomb. Benoit basically no-sells it, pops back up, Enos blows Woman a kiss but turns around into a clothesline and Benoit finishes things by submission with the Crippler Crossface. Not bad.

Winner: Chris Benoit

Rating: *1/2 - Not bad. Not bad, at all. Unlike the other matches on this show, this match had a bit of a story and some good back-and-forth wrestling. Enos, who was never awful, looked pretty good and it was a solid win for Benoit. Perfectly Acceptable Wrestling.

Main Event: Villano 4 vs. The Ultimo Dragon (W/ Sunny Onoo)

- Ah, this is Dragon during his WCW run where he had something like 18 championships at once. Mostly from Japanese promotions that WCW had a working relationship with.

- Villano 4 and 5 were a great jobber team in WCW. They're perhaps most notable most recently for wrestling, as a trio involving the Villano's seemingly 400 year old father one of the worst matches of 2015 against three guys dressed like clowns on a Triple-A pay-per-view. It was uglier than a windowed abortion performed by a blind, drunk doctor. An absolute mess.

- Quick start, Dragon charges Villano with a spinning kick, but Villano avoids it. Villano chops away, Villano with a whip, but Dragon counters with a hurricanrana. Back up and Dragon nails a dropkick. Villano bails, Dragon charges but fakes him out and spins back in, with his own version of Rey Mysterio's precursor to the 619 before turning around and diving over the top with a crossbody. Back inside, and Villano manages to botch being thrown either into the corner or over the top rope. Its like a preview of Villanos vs. The Clowns about 21 years early. Dragon with a whip to the corner and follows in with his trademark handspring back elbow. Dragon follows it up with a series of kicks, a mare and a couple kicks to the back. Dragon with a single-leg Boston crab, but Villano fights out. Dragon cuts him off with a series of chops and kicks. Villano eats a couple good looking kicks, catches one and scores a Dragon screw legwhip on Dragon. Villano with a shot to the leg. Back up, and Villano manages to score a flying headscissor. Villano with a couple Mexican armdrags and scores with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Villano scores an odd looking cross armed, fisherman hook suplex with a bridge for two. Villano with a legdrop and a seated chinlock. Up again, Villano shoots Dragon off and scores with a clothesline. Villano with a kneedrop. Back up, Villano with a whip and backdrop but, Dragon looks like he tries to land on his feet, but botches it and lands flat on his face. Ooof. Spinning back-kick and a headscissor with a cradle by Villano for two. Up again, brief criss-cross sequence and Villano lands a powerslam for two. Up again, Dragon with a go behind, Villano counters, Dragon tries a rollup, Villano holds the ropes and nails Dragon with a clothesline. In the corner, Villano whips Dragon across, Dragon counters a charge with a jumping back-kick. Dragon muscles Villano up to the top and drops him with a hurricanrana before polishing Villano off with a nice bridging Tiger Suplex. Man, solid stuff.

Winner: The Ultimo Dragon

Rating: ** - Damn good match, especially for a weekly B-show. Despite a couple botches, with Villano blowing being thrown into the corner and Dragon blowing his own trademark spot of landing on his feet out of a backdrop, it was still good, solid cruiserweight action. We're spoiled now, with wrestlers the quality of Ultimo Dragon, and wrestlers, frankly, leagues beyond the Villanos mixing it up every day on TV these days. But for 1997, a solid match like this was well beyond most of what the major leagues were presenting on TV then. Good stuff.

Final Thoughts: For a weekly syndicated B-show, this was WCW at its best. Even without any NWO influence (on the live show at least, they were all over the recaps as you'd imagine), this was still classic WCW. We had good undercard stuff including former WWF guys in featured spots, Chris Benoit and Mike Enos having a decent heavyweight battle and Dragon and Villano 4 having a really solid cruiserweight showcase match. This show's on Youtube. If you're interested, go check it out. Its a short, fun watch. I'd recommend it. Thumbs up.