WCW Prime October 23, 1995 Review -

WCW Prime - October 23, 1995

- Welcome to another one of Infinite Devil Machine's B-show reviews. WCW's hot off the arrival of Hulk Hogan into WCW with the Hulkster in a desperate war with the villainous (and often hilarious) Wrestlecrap go-to The Dungeon Of Doom. Of course, we won't see The Red and Yellow orange skinned goblin on the show himself. He's much too important to the landscape of WCW to lower himself to squashing some ham-n-egger on a B-show like Prime.

- But lets stop wasting time! Its time to see the best and brightest of the bottom of WCW's collective barrel in all the action you can handle!

Johnny B. Badd vs. Larry Starr

- Oh boy, its Johnny B. Badd out to squash some poor schlub. Johnny B. Badd is what would happen if a mad scientist with nothing better to do crossbred an amateur boxer with Liberace doing really awful blackface. Marc Mero is a born again Christian now who looks like Michael Jackson if MJ hadn't died 50 years too young.

- Lockup and Starr goes to a headlock, Badd shoots him off, leapfrogs Starr twice and they blow a monkeyflip spot. Back up, Badd scores with a backdrop and a running kneelift. Badd threatens a punch and Starr backs off to the corner. Lockup again and Badd scores a single leg takedown. Starr fights out as a I just notice that Starr looks like the bizarre love child of Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, Fit Finlay, and Samoa Joe's wrestling tights. Up again, Starr clubbers away, but Badd cuts him off with a whip and a backdrop before scoring with a slingshot legdrop from the apron. Badd with a bodyslam, before throwing Starr to the floor to hit him with a running flip to the floor, just for the sake of a high spot. Starr thrown back inside and Badd springs in over the top with a turnover splash for the easy 3.

Winner: Johnny B. Badd

Rating: 1/4 * - Just for Badd's impressive maneuvering. Just an exhibition for Badd's offense.


The Barrio Brothers vs. Mike Davis and Larry Santo 

- Wow, talk about scraping the dirt underneath the bottom of the barrel here, right? The Barrio Brothers were barely above jobber status themselves. Dave Sierra, of The Barrio Brothers is probably best known for... uhh... challenging "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan for the WCW TV Title on an episode of WCW Saturday Night in 1999.

- Good God, Dusty Rhodes trying to speak Spanish sounds as authentically Mexican as Donald Trump claiming he loves tacos.

- Davis and Santana start, Davis with a series of arm wringers that Santana escapes with couple clubbing blows. Irish whip to the corner and a reversal and Davis comes off the second rope with a floatover crossbody block for two. Davis swings for the fences with a dropkick but Santana avoids it by holding the ropes. Tag and Sierra is in, off the top with a flying double chop before hammering away. Headlock and Davis with a whip and an armdrag. Sierra fights out and tags Santana back in. Santana in with some clubbering and an uppercut in the corner. Irish whip to the corner and Sierra in for an illegal whip clothesline from Santana followed up by one from Sierra. More boring clubbering, Davis scores with a sunset flip on Sierra, but Santana distracts the referee. Sierra scores a two-count off of a forearm shot. Barrio Bros. keep controlling Davis with some basic pounding and frequent tags. Sierra tags Santana in and they execute a crap version of the future Team Angle's signature hangman/leap frog double-team move on Davis. Barrio's keep controlling with choking, but Davis counters a vertical suplex from Santana with one of his own. Sierra tagged in quickly to maintain control, but Davis gets the boot up to counter a charge into the corner and nails Sierra with a clothesline. Davis with the lukewarm (at best, think a microwave dinner left out and thawed to room temperature) to Santo and Santo hits the ring like a well contained house of fire. Sierra absorbs a series of punches and counters an attempted whip with an elbow across the neck. Santana tagged back in and they finish Santo off with a lame Doomsday Device. Blech.

Winners: The Barrio Brothers

Rating: DUD - Just a boring formula tag-team squash. Nothing to write home about.

- Backstage, we see Dusty Rhodes and Chris Cruise. Dusty's rocking a witch hat and they claim to be in a "graveyard". We see "highlights" of the Hogan/Giant feud, where Giant threw "his father's" (implied to be Andre The Giant's) shirt at Hogan and crushed his motorcycle with a monster truck. Gotta love that mid-90's WCW cheese. Obviously, if you know your wrestling, you know this is leading to the terrible Hogan/Giant monster truck face off and Giant falling off the roof of Cobo Hall at Halloween Havoc '95. Also, the Ye-TAY/Mummy/Abominable Snow Yeti/Super Ninja/Ron Reese/Reese exploding out of a giant ice cube like a real life version of "Harvey Birdman's" Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. But that's a whole lotta stupid for a whole 'nother show, folks.

- Back to the action, and we see a match that finally has some potential; Diamond Dallas Page vs. Alex Wright.

TV Championship Match - Diamond Dallas Page (C) (w/The Diamond Doll and Maxx Muscle) vs. Alex Wright

- Man, I forgot how terrible Page's outfit was back in the early-90's. He literally looks like he's cobbled together his outfit from the scraps of other wrestler's costumes and discounted, sold "as is" fabric from the back of a quickly deteriorating Jo-Anne's Fabrics.

Lockup to start and Page with a big slam. He stops to taunt and Wright rolls him up for a super quick two count. Back up, Page goes to a full nelson and Wright chain wrestles Page into a an armlock before Page wrestles out into a front facelock. Page with a rolling facelock takedown and almost locks in a loose Dragon Sleeper. Wright counters with a mare and scores a nice dropkick. Wright with a series of arm wringers, Page shoots him off, Wright avoids an elbow and scores a crossbody that Page rolls through. Wright kicks out of a sloppy rope assisted pin attempt. Up again, Page tries for a vertical suplex but Wright counters into a small package that Page counters into a small package with the tights for the win.

Winner (and still TV Champion): Diamond Dallas Page

Rating: 1/4* - Basic match. Not bad. Page and Wright would actually have a much better and longer match at a Clash of The Champions around this time. Check that out. This was pretty much nothing.

- Here we go; its hype central for WCW Halloween Havoc '95 - Check out Machine vs. Machine as Hulk Hogan's Hulkamania Powered Red And Yellow Metal Machine goes one on one against The Giant's Giant Mobile!!! Also, Sting teams up with Ric Flair to be turned on...err... wrestle the dangerous tandem of Brian Pillman and Arn Anderson, Hawk takes on Kensuki Sasaki, Randy Savage attempts to avoid being eaten alive by the African nightmare Kamala and Johnny B. Badd tries to wrest the TV Title away from Diamond Dallas Page. Its time to get spooky, at Halloween Havoc!!!!!!

- Backstage we see Kevin Sullivan cavorting with "The Master", aka the father of future WCW TV Champion, Prince Iaukea. Is Hulkamania doomed?

Randy Savage vs. Bunkhouse Buck (w/ Colonel Robert Parker)

- This could be good. Bunkhouse Buck was decent and Savage was always good at bringing the best out of people. Robert Parker is probably best known as Jack Swagger's eventual work father in recent years or as Jeff Jarrett's pre-Debra manager in the WWF as Tennessee Lee in 1998.

Before the match starts we get a commercial break (check out Rockin' USA, the biggest hits of the 80's as defined by whoever picked that shit in 1995 and make sure to check out Pro Football Insider with whoever the Hell Fred Edelstein is, by the way) and as we return, Buck is stomping Savage down in the corner. Savage tries to comeback but Buck cuts him off with a rake to the eyes and a short clothesline. Buck with a stomp and a Camel Clutch. No confirmation however on whether or not Savage was humbled afterwards, though. Eventually, Savage fights out with a snap mare but Buck cuts him off with a clubbing blow and a neckbreaker for a series of two counts. Buck with a knee to the back and a surfboard hold. Back up standing, Savage tries to fight out but Buck chokes him over the top rope. Buck with another neckbreaker and some choking. Buck goes to the well a third time, but Savage counters a neckbreaker by grabbing the top rope. Savage scores a bodyslam and nails the flying elbow for the win.

Winner: "Macho Man" Randy Savage

Rating: 1/2* - Typical Savage formula. Savage gets beat down, gives up about 99% of the match, makes his comeback and wins in a couple moves. Typical B-show Savage stuff.

Prime Match of The Week: The Man of Question vs. Barry Houston 

- This is the main event? The Man of Question is the future Hugh Morrus/Bill Demott/WWE PR nightmare and Barry Houston is... well... Barry Houston. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that The Man of Question has big Riddler-esque question marks painted on the side of his head. Just an FYI. He looks like an idiot.

Lockup and The Man of Question scores a knee and hammers Houston into the corner. Houston tries to fight back, but a series of punches and kicks go as unsold as a case of Ultimate Warrior comics in 1996. The Man of Question cuts him off with a clubbing blow and a clothesline. The Man of Question continues clubbering away, controlling things with some blows and a headbutt. Houston tries to fight out of the corner but The Man of Question absorbs the blows and hammers away. Man of Question with a mare and a sitting abdominal stretch. The Man of Question breaks the hold to choke away. Back up and The Man of Question scores with a pretty nice spin kick. Man of Question with a straight right and more choking. Man of Question with a whip and a running corner clothesline. Houston finally fights back, reversing a whip and scoring a hiptoss out of the corner. Man of Question cuts off a brief flurry, drops Houston with a press slam and nails him with a good looking moonsault for the easy win.

Winner: The Man of Question 

Rating: * - Boring formulaic squash. Good Moonsault. Any questions?

- In "the graveyard"/backstage Dusty and Chris Cruise (who's happily hugging a skeleton) give a quick push for Halloween Havoc '95 and we're out!

Final Thoughts- Its a WCW B-show in the mid-90's, before WCW opened their checkbooks up to every ex-WWF guy who could still stand on two legs and work a decent match. So, instead of Demolition Crush dressing like a golfer and jobbing to Saturn, we get boring matches from Hugh Morrus, b-show level Randy Savage, The Barrio Brothers, and a boring exhibition for Johnny B. Badd and a way too short match between Page and Wright. Watch this if old-school B-shows appeal to you or you're nostalgic for pre-NWO WCW. It was a more innocent time. And a more boring time.

Show Review- Buckcherry w/ Nonpoint and Failure Anthem at Braun's Concert Cove - Akron, New York

Back in July, the day after July 4th, I decided to celebrate America's independence by getting super fucked up and heading to Akron, NY - about a 45 drive from my home with a good buddy of mine to catch show headlined by everyone's favorite band, Buck-F'n-Cherry.

Yep, the band most famous for, of all things, writing an earworm in the form of "Crazy Bitch" that's still covered by every hacky bar band to this day and for ripping off a "classic" Kiss song for their own hack-tastic ode to drugs, drinking and debauchery in the form of "Lit Up".

This one was gonna hurt. But Hell, for $20 a ticket, I was more than willing to suffer through it.

Showing up just a little late, to the little hole in the middle of space and time (if you turn too far sideways and squint, Braun's Concert Cove looks like a cactus sitting in the middle of an empty, dusty field.) Braun's location, nestled conveniently between a Denny's, a truck stop, and a truck stop with another Denny's in it, made for a great lowbrow setting for a lowbrow band like Buckcherry.

Upon arriving, as said, we managed to catch the end of the show's first opening act, a band called Failure Anthem. They managed to be both pretty good and utterly forgettable. Thankfully, playing a couple of their bigger "hits" "Paralyzed" and "First World Problems" it became clear that this band wasn't one of the many, many "screamo"/"metalcore" bands polluting the opening act slot of way, way too many mid-sized shows like this. The singer sounded good and intelligible, which is more than you can say for most singers in a lot of "doomed to be openers forever" bands you see at a lot of shows these days. I'd probably pay to see these guys again, on their own. And that's more than I can say for most bands of this ilk.

Upon Failure Anthem warming up the crowd from a deep freeze to a mild thaw, Nonpoint took the stage with their rallying cry "Generation Idiot" from their newest album "The Poison Red". It was here that the audience really started wearing on my buddy and I. I may have forgot to mention, but this was indeed a Tuesday show. The dreaded Tuesday show. Full of older folks, a good amount of them old enough to be my parents. Obviously, Buckcherry brings to mind the exploits of Poison and the hair-metal glam bullshit bands of old. And that was who showed up. The men and women whose fashions haven't evolved past the leather and jeans and now (unfortunately in most cases) too damn low tops on the now more than "robust" sized 80's rocker chicks, with enough hair spray to burn a hole in the ozone layer. And they were dead. Dead as a doorknob for Nonpoint's set. As the California-based quintet tried to hammer out their biggest and best songs, running through "Miracle", and a couple more tunes from "The Poison Red"- "Standing In The Flesh", and "Divided...Conquer Them", Nonpoint finally got the sedate crew, straight out of the old folk's home, moving a little bit with one of their most recognizable hits from their previous album "The Return", hammering out a scintillating rendition of their anti-drug addiction song (definitely at odds with Buckcherry's very pro-drug use style) "Breaking Skin" before running through their classic cover of Phil Collin's "In The Air Tonight", and finally turning the clock back all the way to 2001 with their last song (and the only damn song to get a sing-along from the audience) "Bullet With A Name".

Above all, I'd probably give Nonpoint's set a better rating if the audience hadn't felt like they'd been being kept awake with a sharp pointy stick and being propped up like cardboard standees in a grocery store. They were still good, but Nonpoint might not be a "big" enough band to cross the line and make a Tuesday crowd at a hole-in-the-universe shit hole care about their stuff. I'd love to catch them again with a better, bigger, and livelier crowd.

During the interminable wait for Buckcherry, my buddy and I decided to check out Buckcherry's merch table. After eating some amazing, and I mean amazing, lobster meat mac 'n' cheese and drinking my, eh, probably 7th double Jack And Coke of the night, I bought Nonpoint's show-used drumsticks, a poster, their CD, Failure Anthem's CD, Buckcherry's CD, and had a chance to fondle (but not buy, even I have standards) a Buckcherry branded dildo.

Finally, and seemingly out of nowhere, seriously there was no fanfare - Buckcherry kicked in with their Kiss rip-off song "Lit Up". And, with the crowd as thin (well, in terms of attendance anyway, some of the heffers in the place could have given enough beef to keep a McDonald's running for a year) I managed to scoot right up to the stage and lean my elbows on it. Partially to get closer to the action and partially because I had about seven double Jack and Cokes, six beers, and two Double Jagerbombs through the course of the night and knuckle-bump Josh Todd, Buckcherry's Gremlin-man hybrid of a singer. Running through a bunch of their hits, including "Whiskey In The Morning", "Bring It On Back", and "Next 2 You", Buckcherry finally hit on "Out Of Line" and their "ballad" "Sorry". "Sorry", is, in my mind, one of Buckcherry's good songs. Its a pretty lovely slow jam that actually managed to get a nice sing-along out of the audience, who, even up until this point, still looked like they were fit to be stuffed. Kicking back into things, Buckcherry tore the place open with "Get With It" off of their newest album "Rock And Roll" and "Slammin'" an old-school tune from Buckcherry's second album "Time Bomb" before running straight into "Tight Pants" and "Gluttony", both solid hits from Buckcherry's newest albums. "Carousel" and "Crazy Bitch", from their most famous album "15" ended the main set. After a quick break, Buckcherry hit the stage again for a couple encore tunes - "Say Fuck It" a cover by the band Icona Pop and "Too Drunk..." an early days hit replaced by a cover of Deep Purple's "Highway Star" on the album's eventual wide release.

Above all, I'd give Buckcherry's set a solid and big old "eh". For the $20 I paid, and given all the booze I consumed, I had a good enough time. I went more for Nonpoint, and Buckcherry, despite being the headliners, were just an afterthought. Basically, they played all their big hits and called it a night. I can't complain too much.

The Big Bad Beautiful Buckcherry Setlist Extravaganza 

1. Lit Up
   Play Video
2. Whiskey in the Morning
   Play Video
3. Bring It On Back
   Play Video
4. Next 2 You
   Play Video
5. Out of Line
   Play Video
6. Sorry
   Play Video
7. Get With It
   Play Video
8. Slamin'
   Play Video
9. Tight Pants
   Play Video
10. Gluttony
    Play Video
11. Everything
    Play Video
12. Carousel
    Play Video
13. Crazy Bitch
    Play Video
14. Encore:
15. Say Fuck It
    (Icona Pop cover)
    Play Video
16. Too Drunk...

Overall, I'll say old people kinda suck. Aging hair-metal fans don't age gracefully and Buckcherry are, for better or worse, the perfect kind of lowbrow, bullshit throwback to that style that those people dig. But, for $20 and enough booze to submerge the Trump Marina, I'll say I dug it and had a pretty good time. To be honest, in this case, the extracurricular, between the bands shit was the most fun part of the gig.

On an added note, while waiting for a ride, my buddy and I met Nonpoint's guitar player in the bar and he hooked us up with an autograph. Great dude from a great band. Class act all around.

Call it a, eh, 6/10. For all the 80's rocker chicks in the place who might have been 10's in their days and are 6's (with some beer bottle goggles and at a glance) now.